Ficlet: Ancient Writing on the Wall
Dec. 3rd, 2018 11:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tolieawake posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
mcsheppersTitle: Ancient Writing on the Wall
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Pairing: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard, McShep (did you really expect anything different from me?)
Rating: M
Warning/s: some mentions of smut, but nothing actually stated. You’ll have to use your imaginations for this one.
*
*
The first time it happened, Rodney was fairly sure he was hopped up on too much coffee and stimulants and was hallucinating.
The second, he figured maybe Atlantis was reacting to an unspoken desire of his. What other reason would there be for the walls of Atlantis to have lit up in ancient letters, saying something like that?
The third, he was better rested and decided that, obviously, it was a rather unsavory prank played by one of his staff. The obvious culprit was Zelenka – none of the others were even half smart enough to have done so.
Zelenka denied any and all responsibility for the writing, saying if he was going to tease Rodney about his long-standing crush, he'd do it in a way that wouldn’t take up nearly so much of his time.
Reluctantly, Rodney agreed that that reasoning made sense.
But that left few other options as to where the writing was originating from. And, considering Rodney was absolutely certain Major-what-are-feelings? And emotionally-unavailable, would *not* be writing his feelings on the walls for anyone to see (Though the writing did mysteriously disappear whenever Rodney tried to show anyone else), well, that left Atlantis, or Rodney himself as the culprits.
And Rodney was pretty sure that even his subconscious wouldn’t be so cruel as to tease him in such a way.
Which meant Atlantis – for a hunk of over 10 thousand year old alien tech – had a weird sense of humor.
By the tenth time, Rodney decided it had to stop. There were many things he was willing to put up with, constant danger, being cut off from earth, looking but not touching – but he saw no reason he had to be continually reminded of what he couldn’t have. Even he had his limits.
So he bent the full force of his formidable genius towards fixing whatever glitch Atlantis was operating under.
He found another bay of Puddle Jumpers (Sheppard was ecstatic), some form of ancient canon (more glee from the Major), and a lab he *thinks* might be a way to recharge ZPMs (which means he really doesn’t have any more time to go looking for the glitch, not when there are possible ZPMs to recharge...)
So, finally, Rodney asked Sheppard.
“You want me to what?” Sheppard drawled, glancing up at Rodney but not deigning to shift his legs from where he’d propped them up against his desk (it really was unfair, Rodney thought, he didn’t need any reminders of how long and lean those legs were - they led his thoughts into really not safe for work territory).
“I want you to talk to Atlantis,” Rodney repeated. “She keeps sending me messages, and I need it to stop.”
Sheppard raised an eyebrow. “Messages?” he asked.
Rodney desperately fought down a blush. “Yes,” he replied. “Inappropriate messages.”
Sheppard smirked. “What? Is Atlantis asking you out, McKay?”
“What? No!” Rodney waved his hands through the air, trying to distract both of them from those kinds of thoughts. “Look. Everyone knows you’re Atlantis’ favourite - just, ask her to stop teasing me. Please.”
Sheppard’s eyes squinted, but eventually he nodded, and Rodney breathed a sigh of relief.
*
It got worse.
Rodney had prodded Sheppard until he’d sat in the control chair, and nicely asked Atlantis to stop teasing him. Only, as soon as Sheppard had left the room, the wall facing Rodney had lit up - and it was worse. He hadn’t thought it could get worse. And who on earth (or pegasus) had taught Atlantis how to write smut?!
Rodney wasn’t sure what to do.
“I think I’m going insane,” he told Beckett.
“Aye,” the Doctor agreed - far too readily as far as Rodney was concerned. His brain was a source of invaluable genius and any such threat to it should be treated seriously.
Still, Rodney had never had much trust in that flimsiest of sciences called medicine, which meant it was up to him. Again. As usual.
*
“That’s it!” Rodney declared, barging his way into the Major’s room.
Sheppard, sprawled - sprawled, curse him! - elegantly across his bed, ankles crossed and book in hand, glanced up at him curiously.
“Tell Atlantis to stop!” Rodney demanded.
Sheppard blinked. “Stop?” he asked.
“Yes! Stop! I’ve had it! There is only so much one person can take, and I am at my limit!”
Slowly, Sheppard put his book down, before giving Rodney his full attention. “I thought we fixed that?”
“Well you thought wrong! Obviously, you weren’t firm enough or persuasive enough or something!”
Raising at eyebrow, Sheppard considered the flustered scientist before him. “Maybe it would help if you told me exactly what it is she’s doing to annoy you?” he suggested.
“She’s writing things.”
“Writing things?” And yeah, okay, so it sounded weird when put like that, but that was no reason for Sheppard to be quite so skeptical.
“Writing things she has no business thinking about, let alone teasing me with!”
Sheppard frowned. “Wait. Atlantis is actually flirting with you?” he demanded. There was an edge to his voice Rodney couldn’t quite place, but he waved it away.
“Not flirting, exactly,” he replied, “just, teasing me with things I can’t have.”
Both Sheppard’s eyebrows crawled towards his messy hairline.
“Maybe you should show me?”
“No!”
“Mc-Kay.”
“What?”
“You know I can’t help if I don’t know what I’m helping with.”
Rodney crossed his arms over his chest. If he imagined the Major’s eyes flicked briefly over his biceps with something like want in them - well, it was all Atlantis’ fault for teasing him with things he could never have. “There’s no reason to put you through that,” he told Sheppard.
With a roll of his eyes, Sheppard addressed the room around them. “Atlantis -”
“What?!” Rodney squawked, “No! Don’t!”
“- what have you been doing to McKay?”
Immediately, of course - because everyone *knew* Atlantis had favorites - the wall opposite them lit up, Ancient Letters shining into place. Sheppard dropped his legs to the floor, sitting up straight. Rodney covered his face with his hand.
Still... maybe the Major didn’t read Ancient? In which case, Rodney could just make up something about what it said... something other than the rather steamy lines that were glowing opposite them.
Sheppard’s mouth parted, bottom lip poking out just slightly and glistening where he’d licked it. He cleared his throat.
Rodney wondered if Atlantis would swallow him up if he asked nicely enough.
“Wait,” Sheppard drawled, “you said Altantis was teasing you with things you can’t have...” his voice trailed off and he gave Rodney a rather significant look.
Rodney swallowed. Great. Not only was the Major getting a front-row seat to his utter humiliation of having the city write explicit scenes out for him... he also knew Rodney actually wanted those things to happen.
Sheppard slipped off the bed, moving closer to him. “How do you know you can’t have those things if you’ve never asked?”
Rodney blinked. “What?”
What followed was the kind of thing that made even Atlantis’ increasingly smutty writings look tame in comparison.
But Rodney wasn’t complaining. Not one bit.
If he ever retrieved his brain from wherever the Major had blown it to, he’d thank the city, in the meantime, well, Rodney was a genius - and he had so many ideas of things they could do.
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Pairing: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard, McShep (did you really expect anything different from me?)
Rating: M
Warning/s: some mentions of smut, but nothing actually stated. You’ll have to use your imaginations for this one.
*
*
The first time it happened, Rodney was fairly sure he was hopped up on too much coffee and stimulants and was hallucinating.
The second, he figured maybe Atlantis was reacting to an unspoken desire of his. What other reason would there be for the walls of Atlantis to have lit up in ancient letters, saying something like that?
The third, he was better rested and decided that, obviously, it was a rather unsavory prank played by one of his staff. The obvious culprit was Zelenka – none of the others were even half smart enough to have done so.
Zelenka denied any and all responsibility for the writing, saying if he was going to tease Rodney about his long-standing crush, he'd do it in a way that wouldn’t take up nearly so much of his time.
Reluctantly, Rodney agreed that that reasoning made sense.
But that left few other options as to where the writing was originating from. And, considering Rodney was absolutely certain Major-what-are-feelings? And emotionally-unavailable, would *not* be writing his feelings on the walls for anyone to see (Though the writing did mysteriously disappear whenever Rodney tried to show anyone else), well, that left Atlantis, or Rodney himself as the culprits.
And Rodney was pretty sure that even his subconscious wouldn’t be so cruel as to tease him in such a way.
Which meant Atlantis – for a hunk of over 10 thousand year old alien tech – had a weird sense of humor.
By the tenth time, Rodney decided it had to stop. There were many things he was willing to put up with, constant danger, being cut off from earth, looking but not touching – but he saw no reason he had to be continually reminded of what he couldn’t have. Even he had his limits.
So he bent the full force of his formidable genius towards fixing whatever glitch Atlantis was operating under.
He found another bay of Puddle Jumpers (Sheppard was ecstatic), some form of ancient canon (more glee from the Major), and a lab he *thinks* might be a way to recharge ZPMs (which means he really doesn’t have any more time to go looking for the glitch, not when there are possible ZPMs to recharge...)
So, finally, Rodney asked Sheppard.
“You want me to what?” Sheppard drawled, glancing up at Rodney but not deigning to shift his legs from where he’d propped them up against his desk (it really was unfair, Rodney thought, he didn’t need any reminders of how long and lean those legs were - they led his thoughts into really not safe for work territory).
“I want you to talk to Atlantis,” Rodney repeated. “She keeps sending me messages, and I need it to stop.”
Sheppard raised an eyebrow. “Messages?” he asked.
Rodney desperately fought down a blush. “Yes,” he replied. “Inappropriate messages.”
Sheppard smirked. “What? Is Atlantis asking you out, McKay?”
“What? No!” Rodney waved his hands through the air, trying to distract both of them from those kinds of thoughts. “Look. Everyone knows you’re Atlantis’ favourite - just, ask her to stop teasing me. Please.”
Sheppard’s eyes squinted, but eventually he nodded, and Rodney breathed a sigh of relief.
*
It got worse.
Rodney had prodded Sheppard until he’d sat in the control chair, and nicely asked Atlantis to stop teasing him. Only, as soon as Sheppard had left the room, the wall facing Rodney had lit up - and it was worse. He hadn’t thought it could get worse. And who on earth (or pegasus) had taught Atlantis how to write smut?!
Rodney wasn’t sure what to do.
“I think I’m going insane,” he told Beckett.
“Aye,” the Doctor agreed - far too readily as far as Rodney was concerned. His brain was a source of invaluable genius and any such threat to it should be treated seriously.
Still, Rodney had never had much trust in that flimsiest of sciences called medicine, which meant it was up to him. Again. As usual.
*
“That’s it!” Rodney declared, barging his way into the Major’s room.
Sheppard, sprawled - sprawled, curse him! - elegantly across his bed, ankles crossed and book in hand, glanced up at him curiously.
“Tell Atlantis to stop!” Rodney demanded.
Sheppard blinked. “Stop?” he asked.
“Yes! Stop! I’ve had it! There is only so much one person can take, and I am at my limit!”
Slowly, Sheppard put his book down, before giving Rodney his full attention. “I thought we fixed that?”
“Well you thought wrong! Obviously, you weren’t firm enough or persuasive enough or something!”
Raising at eyebrow, Sheppard considered the flustered scientist before him. “Maybe it would help if you told me exactly what it is she’s doing to annoy you?” he suggested.
“She’s writing things.”
“Writing things?” And yeah, okay, so it sounded weird when put like that, but that was no reason for Sheppard to be quite so skeptical.
“Writing things she has no business thinking about, let alone teasing me with!”
Sheppard frowned. “Wait. Atlantis is actually flirting with you?” he demanded. There was an edge to his voice Rodney couldn’t quite place, but he waved it away.
“Not flirting, exactly,” he replied, “just, teasing me with things I can’t have.”
Both Sheppard’s eyebrows crawled towards his messy hairline.
“Maybe you should show me?”
“No!”
“Mc-Kay.”
“What?”
“You know I can’t help if I don’t know what I’m helping with.”
Rodney crossed his arms over his chest. If he imagined the Major’s eyes flicked briefly over his biceps with something like want in them - well, it was all Atlantis’ fault for teasing him with things he could never have. “There’s no reason to put you through that,” he told Sheppard.
With a roll of his eyes, Sheppard addressed the room around them. “Atlantis -”
“What?!” Rodney squawked, “No! Don’t!”
“- what have you been doing to McKay?”
Immediately, of course - because everyone *knew* Atlantis had favorites - the wall opposite them lit up, Ancient Letters shining into place. Sheppard dropped his legs to the floor, sitting up straight. Rodney covered his face with his hand.
Still... maybe the Major didn’t read Ancient? In which case, Rodney could just make up something about what it said... something other than the rather steamy lines that were glowing opposite them.
Sheppard’s mouth parted, bottom lip poking out just slightly and glistening where he’d licked it. He cleared his throat.
Rodney wondered if Atlantis would swallow him up if he asked nicely enough.
“Wait,” Sheppard drawled, “you said Altantis was teasing you with things you can’t have...” his voice trailed off and he gave Rodney a rather significant look.
Rodney swallowed. Great. Not only was the Major getting a front-row seat to his utter humiliation of having the city write explicit scenes out for him... he also knew Rodney actually wanted those things to happen.
Sheppard slipped off the bed, moving closer to him. “How do you know you can’t have those things if you’ve never asked?”
Rodney blinked. “What?”
What followed was the kind of thing that made even Atlantis’ increasingly smutty writings look tame in comparison.
But Rodney wasn’t complaining. Not one bit.
If he ever retrieved his brain from wherever the Major had blown it to, he’d thank the city, in the meantime, well, Rodney was a genius - and he had so many ideas of things they could do.
no subject
Date: 2018-12-03 01:22 am (UTC)Atlantis is such a matchmaker!
Fun!
no subject
Date: 2018-12-03 06:13 am (UTC)I just love the idea of Atlantis trying to get her favs together!
no subject
Date: 2018-12-03 02:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-12-03 06:18 am (UTC)Just exactly who taught Atlantis fanfic is still up for debate. Personally, my money's on Miko Kusanagi - mainly cos for all I wish I would be like Teyla or someone, if I was on Atlantis, that would probably be me - running around after Rodney and pining quietly.
I deliberately left exactly what Atlantis writes up to the minds of the readers, but I do imagine she started with something simple like 'John loves Rodney' but had to keep expanding on that when Rodney refused to get the hint.
Of course... if she did find any fanfic the expedition had written about them, well, let's hope Rodney never finds out...
no subject
Date: 2018-12-03 04:41 am (UTC)Still, Rodney had never had much trust in that flimsiest of sciences called medicine, which meant it was up to him. Again. As usual.
POOR RODNEY! SO put upon. :D
thanks for the great read, you really made my evening.
no subject
Date: 2018-12-03 06:21 am (UTC)Of course Rodney has to do everything himself! No-one else is smart enough ;)
So glad you enjoyed this!
no subject
Date: 2018-12-03 01:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-12-05 11:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-12-03 05:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-12-05 11:26 am (UTC)Sweet!
Date: 2018-12-04 01:14 am (UTC)splorfle
Re: Sweet!
Date: 2018-12-05 11:26 am (UTC)